The Things We Gain (CHAPTER 2)

Walking into the radio station the next day Mikey did not expect to find much. However his face cracked into a huge smile as he found a small pile of money and notes that had come through the mail slot during the school day. Scooping up the money Mikey dropped the stack of bills and coins onto a table and began to count, his grin becoming wider and wider as the number climbed higher and higher until it totaled almost $70; in addition to the dozen or so notes that had been left for him by people requesting certain songs. Pushing the money into a jar, Mikey marked the side of the jar before setting it on a shelf before scurrying into the broadcasting booth.

Pausing for a moment Mikey smiled to himself as around him the broadcasting equipment began to warm up. His plan REALLY was working. Now he just had to keep it working.


RAPH'S POV


Raph groaned as the hot water from the shower ran down his tired skin. Practice had been brutal today. They’d been doing full contact practice that meant while he was able to wail on his teammates without fear of reproach from the coach he did have to worry about the other players taking out their own frustrations on him; something he had been neglectful of in the past. The effect was that several times during the practice he'd been tackled and dragged to the ground by players that he either hadn't seen or had discounted. As a result he now had several large bruises forming on his chest, neck and arms while his head spun and rung with a dull headache that throbbed and pulsed even as he stood still with the warm water running down him.

With his hand never leaving the wall Raph slowly felt his way out of the shower and over to his locker, pulling it open before beginning to slowly dress himself. Several times he had to stop as the pulsing ringing sound in his head became worse making him sway and stagger even as he tried to stand still. Slowly easing himself onto a bench Raph closed his eyes doing his best to take deep breaths to try and relax.

Even as he sat there trying to clear and calm his pounding head, he felt a wave of nausea wash over him. He panted, gasping for breath as wave after wave of nausea pulled at him making his stomach lurch and churn. He leaned back; resting his back against the row of lockers behind him he willed his stomach to stop hurting. And after several minutes his stomach returned to a relatively stable feeling, not completely back to normal but enough to allow him to stand up and begin making his way to his car so he could go home and curl up next to Donnie. He felt his heart swell slightly as he thought of his......boyfriend.

There was something, thrilling about that word.....boyfriend. It filled his stomach with nervous butterflies and it made him want to smile and laugh. It wasn't like he was gay, no the idea of men in general still made him cringe and gag. And if he imagined them naked he had the vague urge to vomit; but Donnie.....there was something so alluring and seductive about the purple turtle. Something about his slim figure, green skin, those perfect reddish brown eyes.......

"Did you see the way they were prancing around?"

Raph froze as the sound of his teammate's voices met his ears. Peaking around the corner Raph found several of his teammates were lounging around in the lobby of the gym.

"God you'd think they owned the play. Fucking queers."

Raph growled his hand tightening into a fist around his backpack strap.

"Damn fags. Thought we got rid of them all when he got rid of that turtle queer who was trying to live with us."

Raph's eyes widened and he felt his fingernails dig into his skin so tightly he was amazing he didn't draw blood. They were talking about Mikey......his brother. Gnashing his teeth together Raph willed himself not to react.

'Keep it together. Keep it together. In 2 months you'll be done with them and then you can kick the shit out of them.'

He smiled to himself. Imagining how good it would feel to grab each of his 'teammates' by the throat and pound on them until they were nothing but a bloody pulp. After several moments of 'happy' thoughts Raph opened his eyes before taking several more deep breaths. As he did s he caught sight of his reflection in the glass trophy display case he was standing in front of. His skin was several shades paler then it normally was, and even as he stood there his head continued to pulse painfully. Taking several more deep breaths Raph turned and began to move away from his teammates, instead using a side door to leave the gym before going to his car and throwing his gear in the back seat.

Leaning back in his seat Raph took several moments to just sit there with his eyes closed; willing himself to feel better as his head continued to pulse and throb painfully. For a long time football had been his respite; something he could do that calmed him and made him feel relaxed. But all that had changed, and now football was just another thing that added to the steadily increasing list of thing stressed him. Perhaps Donnie was right, maybe he did need to try and make a bigger effort to relax. If the headache he was experiencing right now was any indication he really REALLY needed a break.

Vaguely he toyed with the idea of asking coach to bench him for a next few practices, maybe he could even fake being sick and skip them all together. That thought made him smile as he imagined going straight home after school.....scooping Donnie up in his arms......kissing him.........carrying him upstairs......and then fucking him until neither of them could move. Despite the pain in his head Raph smiled at the thoughts in his head.

What was it about Donnie that made him so wild? What was it about the purple turtle that got him SO worked up that he could barely stand it? Of course there were several obvious answers. Donnie was cute.....no that didn't do Donnie justice something about his thin frame, yet perfectly sized hips and shoulders was downright sexy. But it was more than that, yes Donnie was physically sexy but there was so much more to the purple turtle than just looks. Donnie was smart too, not just mentally but emotionally smart; able to help Raph express himself in ways Raph had never done before. He was also kind and caring, able to go slow and help Raph to understand bits of his schoolwork that he was struggling with. Add on to all that the way the purple turtle's hips swayed and swished when he walked and...........Donnie was.......perfect.

Another wave of pain laced nausea made Raph whimper slightly. His head was REALLY starting to hurt. When he and Donnie were done fucking he'd have to put some ice on it. Gritting his teeth he started his car; ding his best to will his headache gone as he drove through the streets of the town heading home.


LATER


Donnie felt a shiver run up his spine as the sound of a car engine turning off met his ears. As quickly as he could he tried to finish what he was doing, putting away the last plate just as the front door opened. He turned, expecting to see Raph barge into the room and grab him like he usually did. However after several moments of waiting Raph hadn't appeared yet making Donnie a little curious. Slowly he stuck his head out of the kitchen, looking towards the front door. His eyes widened as he found Raph was leaning back against the door his eyes closed, his face scrunched up in obvious pain. Raph's skin was several shades paler then it normally was and the large turtle was panting for breath as small droplets of sweat ran down his skin.

"R....Raph? What’s wrong?"

The muscular turtle grunted, shaking his head for a moment before hissing as the movement caused him more pain.

"N......nothing's......wrong......get ready for........."

but Raph's voice trailed off, as his face contorted in more pain. rushing to Raph's side Donnie gripped Raph's arm and slowly led him to the couch, carefully laying him down before pulling away to look at Raph.

"Raph, what's wrong. Tell me what hurts."

Raph grunted and gestured to his head, wincing as the movement caused him more pain. Hurrying to the bathroom Donnie grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen he kept in his medicine cabinet as well as a washrag and a small metal bowl which he filled with cold water before rushing back to Raph's side.

"Here, take these."

He pushed 2 pills of ibuprofen into Raph's hand and watched as Raph brought the pills to his mouth before swallowing them. "Th...thank......"

Donnie nodded, wringing out the washcloth before pressing it against Raph's forehead. The moment the cool cloth touched his skin Raph let out a low groan. The pain that had flooded his system eased slightly allowing his body to relax just a little bit. He groaned, feeling Donnie shift, rubbing the cold cloth against his forehead, temples and the back of his head. "Th....that feels good....."

Donnie nodded. "That’s why I’m doing it. Just relax. Take deep breath. Do you need anything?"

Raph was silent for a moment as Donnie ran the cool cloth over his temples again. After a moment he spoke. "W...water......would be nice."

Donnie nodded and set the cloth against Raph's forehead, before moving into the kitchen and filling a glass with cold water before hurrying back to Raph's side and handing him the glass. His eyes widened with fear as he found that Raph's hands were shaking so badly that he could barely hold the glass. Gently Donnie helped to guide the glass to Raph's lips while the large turtle struggled to sit up before taking several long drinks form the glass before draining it. "Ahhhhh........that's better."

Taking the glass from Raph's hand Donnie set it down on the coffee table before turning back and beginning to run the cool cloth over Raph's head and neck again. After several minutes he pulled the cloth away before rewetting it with the bowl of water.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like this, rubbing and dabbing at Raph's skin and occasionally getting up to get him more water. Time simply didn't seem to matter anymore. All he cared about was getting Raph back to normal. As he moved to get Raph another glass of water the larger turtle grunted, one of his eyes drifting open to look at Donnie. "Th....thanks......for doing......this."

Donnie shifted, kneeling back down in front of Raph before moving in to gently kiss Raph's forehead. "Its no trouble......"

his voice trailed off. He wanted to say more. He wanted to say those 3 little words he'd kept himself from saying for the last month. Those 3 words he thought he'd never say again to anyone. He watched as Raph's eyes drifted closed again. Gently rubbing Raph's shoulder Donnie spoke. "Do you need anything else?"

Raph was silent for a several moments before responding. "I’m all.....sweaty.......sorry.......i got....your couch...dirty."

Donnie shook his head. "It’s fine. Just breathe and relax. I’m going to go run you a bath ok. The hot water will help ease the pain."

Raph nodded, wincing slightly as a fresh lash of pain rippled across his face. "A.....blanket.......so.....cold."

Donnie bit his lip but did as Raph asked, covering the large turtle with a blanket before giving his forehead another kiss. He watched as Raph shifted, maneuvering the blankets so it covered him in exactly the way he wanted while at the same time gripping a nearby pillow and pulling it against his chest before burying his face against it.

"I’ll be right back ok Raph?"

Raph nodded. "O....o....ok.........hurry.......please."

Donnie looked down at his boyfriend, feeling his heart clench at just how hurt and vulnerable Raph seemed to be at the moment. He’d never seen Raph like this before. Raph always gave off a feeling of being indestructible, so the sight of him curled up on the couch his face buried against the pillow obviously in great pain was very disconcerting to Donnie and was almost enough to make him stay with Raph. But as Raph let out a gentle moan of pain Donnie shook his head. The bath would help Raph a lot more than just a cold cloth would.

Hurrying up the stairs Donnie turned on the water and after making sure it was the right temperature plugged up the tub before returning downstairs to Raph. Gently touching Raph's shoulder Donnie felt a fresh wave of fear roll through him as he found that Raph's skin was drenched in sweat and shook slightly as the muscular turtle looked up at him.

“come on Raph…..the bath is ready.”

Donnie slung his arm under Raph's arm and heaved, helping the large turtle to stand up. Slowly they began to make taking slow steps as they moved through the living room and towards the stairs where they paused. Raph grunted as he slowly lifted his leg taking a step upwards before taking another and another. It was slow going, ever few steps Raph would have to stop and take several deep breaths before being able to continue. Donnie clung to Raph's body, doing his best to support the large turtle with each step they took.

Reaching the top of the stairs Donnie breathed a small sigh of relief as he began to lead Raph towards the bathroom and the now filled tub. Allowing Raph to slowly sit down on the toilet Donnie shut off the water to the tub and turned before kneeling down in front of Raph and beginning to strip him of his clothes.

He could not help but bite his lip as he found dozens of bruises lined Raph's chest, arms, stomach and legs. He knew football was a violent sport, and he knew Raph was tough…..but at the same time he could not help but feel pangs of sadness every time he uncovered a new bruise on Raph's body. Once Raph was stripped of his clothing Donnie moved, helping Raph to stand before guiding him to the tub before helping him to slowly sit down in the warm water. He smiled weakly as Raph let out a low groan as the warm water pressed in against him, helping to ease his tense muscles.

“that’s…….good…..”

Donnie smiled to himself, glad that the bath seemed to be helping Raph already. Stripping off his own clothes Donnie joined Raph. Grabbing the wash cloth he’d been using before Donnie dunked the cloth in the warm water before reaching up and dabbing the cloth against Raph's forehead. Smiling weakly as Raph's eyes drifted open looking weakly at Donnie.

“……hey…….”

Raph's voice was weak, and shook slightly. doing his best to smile reassuringly back at him Donnie spoke softly. “feeling better?”

Raph nodded slowly, his eyes drifting clothed again. “yeah…….but it’s……..bright in here…….can we…..turn off the lights?”

Nodding Donnie stood up, shivering slightly as the cool air in the room lapsed against his wet skin as he leaned out of the tub and hit the light switch plunging the room into nearly complete darkness save for the small sliver of light that came from the crack under the door. Feeling his way back to the tub Donnie moved slowly, so as not to slip and fall as he knelt back down, running his hands along Raph's chest until he found the cloth which he had set against Raph's neck.

As his fingers graced over Raph's muscles the larger turtle groaned. “hmm……feels good…..trying to cop a feel Donnie?”

Donnie smiled, despite knowing Raph couldn't see his expression. “maybe……”

He smiled a bit more as raph chuckled. Finding the cloth Donnie resumed his ministrations, dabbing and rubbing the warm cloth across Raph's skin making the muscular turtle groan and churr gently. “thank you.”

Donnie smiled. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness and he could now see Raph looking up at him; a faint smile gracing Raph's face. continuing to tend to Raph's skin Donnie groaned gently as he felt Raph's hands come to rest against his hips his fingers gently tracing his muscles.

Donnie bit his lip as he felt his heart swell. He wanted to badly to speak, to say those 3 little words that he wanted to say above all else. And yet he held himself back. He and Raph had only been seeing each other for 3 months. Would he scare Raph away if he said those words?

“Hey……what are you thinking about?”

Donnie blinked, looking at Raph confused. “huh?’

Raph's hand moved, coming up to cup Donnie’s face, his thumb gently petting Donnie’s cheek. “you’re face……it scrunches up when you’re thinking about something. What are you thinking about.”

Donnie looked down at Raph, feeling his heart swell a bit more at the look of concern that was covering Raph's face. He wanted so badly to say those 3 little words……and yet…… “I’m just worried about you.”

Raph smiled weakly at him. “I’m ok Donnie……I’m a tank.”

Donnie shook his head. “No Raph…..you’re not. Today proves that.”

Raph sighed, continuing to stroke Donnie’s cheek. “I promise, I’m ok Donnie. I just got a migraine. People get them all the time for seemingly no reason; and I think I have a better reason than most to get them. So…….don’t worry. Ok?”

Donnie nodded slowly. “Ok Raph…..”

He looked down at Raph. His heart fluttering as Raph smiled again at him. “hey….come here.”

Gently he allowed Raph to maneuver his body, making it so Donnie was resting with his body pressed against Raph's while his head rested just under Raph's neck, which Raph's hand stroking his neck.

Donnie sighed contently, enjoying the feeling of Raph's skin pressed against his. Taking a deep breath he spoke slowly, willing his voice not to shake from the nerves which clawed and ragged at his insides like a pit of cold snakes.

“Raph……I…..i want to say something to you…..but…….I’m…..” he struggled to speak. Willing himself to be brave. “I don't want to…….scare you away but………I need to say it…..and…….it’s ok if you don't……feel the same way…..I just……I need to say this……”

His voice trailed off as he felt Raph move; shifting so they were looking at each other. “Donnie, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

Donnie nodded but bit his lip. “I know but…….I’m scared.”

Raph nodded slowly, his arms coming up to wrap around Donnie’s hips pulling him in a little bit closer. “It’s ok Donnie……just tell me what you need to say.”

He took a deep breath, his heart was suddenly beating very fast and his mouth had become almost painfully dry. “I……I…….” he closed his eyes, willing himself to say those 3 little words. “I……love….you….”

Silence met his words for a moment, then slowly…….. he groaned as Raph moved, pressing their lips together in a gentle kiss that took his breath away and made his heart beat and flutter just a little bit faster. As they pulled apart Raph rested his forehead against Donnie's.

“I…..I know you want to hear me say those words back to you……..so………..I…….I love you too Donnie……..”

Donnie felt his heart flutter again. but he also noted the hesitation in Raph's voice.

“are….are you sure?” he questioned gently.

In response Raph sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m about 95% sure. Yes. I just…….i’m still nervous…….I just………”

But Donnie silenced him with a finger against his lips. “It’s ok if you’re not sure. I…..i don't expect you to say it back to me just because I said it…..I just…….I needed to say it. Ok?”

Raph nodded slowly. “Ok.”

Silence lapsed between them as Donnie settled himself back down so he was resting against Raph's chest. After several moments Raph spoke softly. “Hey…….I want you to come to the football game. It’s the playoffs and……I want you there cheering me on.”

Donnie shifted looking up at Raph for a moment. “Are you sure?”

Raph nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure. I want you there. You, Mikey, and even Leo; I want you all there cheering me on. I can get you all free tickets if you want. So…….will you come?”

Donnie nodded. “Of course I’ll come. And I’m sure Mikey will come too......”

Donnie’s voice trailed off as his mind went to Leo. He was quite sure that Leo and Mikey were still lying to Raph about their ‘unique relationship’. Which presented a small problem, if Leo showed up at the football game and appeared to be ‘overly close’ to one of his students it could cause some people to start looking closer at him.

But Raph seemed to accept his answer squeezing his body again while leaning In to kiss Donnie’s again, wiping all thoughts of Leo from the genius turtle’s mind.

As they broke apart Donnie spoke. “So……how is your head feeling?”

Raph shrugged. “Better. It doesn’t throb anymore……it’s just kind of…….numb now.”

Donnie smiled and gently nuzzled Raph's neck. “I’m glad.”

Raph nodded in agreement. “me too.”

LATER

Raph sighed contently as he watched Donnie leave the bathroom, stepping out into the hallway his green skin glistening as the small beads of water that clung to his skin caught the light. Raph let out a low churr at the sight, watching as Donnie walked down the hallway before vanishing from sight.

Sighing again Raph moved pulling on his pants and shirt. He had just begun to leave the bathroom when he phone began to ring and vibrate; alerting him that he had received a text message. Pulling his phone out of his pocket rah tapped the screen and frowned as he found the message was from Harmony.

He could not help but shift a little uncomfortably. He’d been ignoring the human girl for the last few months now. Forgetting to respond to her texts or simply ignoring them all together. Biting his lip he tapped the screen again, allowing the message she had sent him to appear on the screen.

We need to talk. I know your secret.

Raph blinked at the screen. He could feel a small jolt of adrenaline hitting his system. Filling him with a kind of nervous energy as he rapidly typed in his response.

I don't know what you’re talking about. What secret?

Shoving the phone in his pocket Raph left the bathroom before moving down the stairs and into the living room to find Donnie busy warming up a few slices of pizza in the microwave. Sneaking up behind the purple banded turtle Raph leaned in giving Donnie’s butt a little squeeze while kissing the back of Donnie’s neck.

He grinned and chuckled as Donnie squealed and jumped a little bit. His voice becoming high pitched as he yelped in surprise. Gripping Donnie’s shoulders Raph spun the purple turtle around and pressed their lips firmly together, enjoying the low groan that Donnie let out. He pressed in, moving so their bodies were pressed against each other in a gentle kiss that was more than enough to make Raph let out another churr.

But their moment of haven was interrupted as again Raph's phone began to ring and vibrate. He growled, seriously considering throwing the phone across the room so he could focus all his attention on Donnie who was still pressed tightly against him.

As if Donnie knew what he was thinking he spoke softly. “Answer it. It might be important.”

Rolling his eyes Raph groaned as Donnie pulled their bodies apart, before grabbing the pizza from the microwave and moving to sit down at the counter while turning on the TV.

Digging into his pocket Raph tapped the screen of his phone a bit harder out of frustration. What did harmony want? A moment later he felt his blood turn to cie as he read her response to his message.

I know you’re fucking a guy. WE NEED TO TALK.

His hands shook as he gripped the phone tighter, his head snapping up to look at Donnie’s back as the purple turtle absentmindedly leaned to one side as he flipped through the channels on TV.

Biting his lip Raph moved, leaving the kitchen and down the hallway before stepping out into the garage. Only once the door was closed tightly behind him did he react, feverishly punching in harmony’s phone number, grunting and growling as the phone rang twice before she answered.

“I thought that might get your attention.”

He snarled into his phone. “the fuck are you talking about?! I’m not-”

But she cut him off, her voice becoming husky as she tried to mimic Donnie’s voice. “I really like you Raph…….A LOT, and then you said I like you too Donnie. Sound familiar?”

Raph felt his throat go dry. She DID know. His grip on the phone made his hands shake as he felt a cold stone of fear begin to form in his gut. His voice shook with fear as he spoke, his voice weak. “WH…wh….what do you want? I don't have any money…….”

On the other end of the line he heard Harmony sigh before responding. “I want to talk. Meet me at the Food court in the mall after school tomorrow. Come alone. If you don't show up…….i’ll let you use your imagination.”

A moment later the line went dead leaving Raph to trembled and quiver in fear as he did his best to pull himself together before going back into the house and pretend that nothing was wrong.